The Multi-Talented Lita & Layla

September 14, 2011  

From guarding pizza to chasing away ghosts, these two pit bulls hold all sorts of jobs

By Juli

Here’s a complete list of all of the jobs my pit bulls perform.

First, I have a couch and bed gravity enforcer.

Since I got 10-year-old Lita, none of the furniture or dog beds have floated away. She takes pride in her work and spends up to 12 hours a day working. She is also skilled at teaching the new puppies that we foster the finer points of the position, ensuring that their skills are top-notch and ready for their new families.

Then there’s ghost detection.

Layla, 6, takes this job as her own specialty. A single extra-loud “woof!” is usually enough to keep all of us safe. As she takes her responsibilities seriously, she then patrols the bed and goes back to sleep. Ghosts tend to attack at 2 a.m. or thereabouts. Regrettably, this position is not properly appreciated by the rest of her family, as the bark and bouncing around tend to wake them, and they panic, not realizing she has already dealt with the invisible threat.

You can’t forget about neighborhood watch.

My pit bulls will stare intently out the front windows, occasionally woofing or growling, as they keep watch over the neighborhood. Now, we humans have never actually seen anything out where that they are watching, as we live on a quiet dead-end street, and the wildlife lives in the backyard; but whatever it is that they are watching, I suspect it’s mighty uncomfortable, which keeps the neighborhood safe.

They’re also pizza security guards.

They go with me to the fence over which we receive our pizza, and then they escort the pizza to the house. This may be, single handedly, their most important job.

Then, there’s chastity enforcement.

It’s hard to get romantic over and around 100 pounds of snoring pit bull. And if you do succeed, moving said chastity enforcers can prove difficult. Their weight triples, and I swear their fur sticks them to the covers.

They’re also diligent in puppy discipline and manners reinforcement.

I raise puppies for a pit bull rescue group, and the girls, Lita and Layla, combine forces with my semi-demonic cat to raise a well-balanced, respectful puppy, who believes with his whole heart, no matter how big and tough he gets, they will find him and kick his butt for bad behavior.

Finally they’re also a reality check dispenser.

Layla is a 40 pound, probably game-bred, American Dog Breeders Association-style pit bull with rocket launchers in her ankles and a disturbing ability to lick people in the eye from a sit. She is adorable, wriggly and absolutely 10,000 miles an hour when meeting new people. Suddenly, the most active and excited foster dog looks a little tame and tired compared to her. Once you tell the potential adopter that she is 6 years old, it puts the phrase “high energy” into perspective.

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4 Responses to “The Multi-Talented Lita & Layla”
  1. I concur with the chastity enforcer…geesh lol

  2. blazer says:

    had me laughing out loud! 🙂

  3. StubbyDog says:

    @blazer Us too!

  4. Katherine says:

    A story well told!